Wednesday 21 December 2011

A Warrior's Heart.


TOPICAL MOVIE TIME DOOPDEEDOO! This is a 2011 movie which makes it TOPICAL but it is also fronted by Kellan Lutz and Ashley Greene, you know? Emmett and Alice Cullen, my favourite Twilight characters? It's some romance movie about lacrosse or something, it sounds really terrible but TOPICAL MOVIE! Enjoy. As a warning, there are always spoilers in my reviews I stopped warning long ago. But if you have any plans to watch this movie, my spoilers will genuinely ruin it. You have been warned.




And HOLY SHIT does this feel like a Twilight movie, the action is done in slow motion that just makes it look kinda goofy (although they drop this early on so the lacrosse just ends up looking like any old televised match, so yawn). There's the whole Native America tribe subplot about the history of Lacrosse like the whole warring tribes in Twilight, the way Ashley Greene narrates the entire thing or the way she seems obsessed with Lutz just by his appearance like Bella did Edward, even down to how it's shot. And you'd seriously be better off just sticking with the Twilight Saga.


So a Warriors Heart is about Kellan Lutz being an asshole and a waste of space (to such a huge degree it ends up almost becoming a plothole, you'll know what I mean if you've seen it). He moves from school to school a lot because his Dad is in the military and they move a lot...for some reason and he just happens to arrive at the school Ashley Greene is in and is like 'DUDE, TOTALLY WANNA BANG THAT!' and then he gets bullied during Lacrosse and rises to a star but not before he goes to military camp to clean up his act (even then the cheesy dream ending just kinda...happens with no proper build up) and there is this whole subplot with his Dad going back to Iraq and dying and stuff.


It all ends on this cheesy braveheart thing as they continue to drop in references to warriors and native Americans, I guess this is also similar to Twilight with its heavy handed symbolism. Funny then that the film makes a joke at things that do that... It's all very anticlimactic. I mean really, running out with the American flag? It's just your typical cheesy sports melodrama. I've never really been all that big on these kinds of films. I don't look to sports for inspiration considering all it did in school was get me bullied and singled out. I find this film more insulting than anything else.


Admittedly the death scene of Lutz's father really took me off guard. It's just another cheesy scene of Lutz and his Dad texting about something Lacrosse related and then suddenly there is a shot of a soldier and suit getting out of a car. Sad music starts to play, his dad then coughs up blood and drops out of a burning truck. This scene was actually brilliant.


You know what I will say is a damn shame? Somehow without all that flour on her face, without those cheap yellow contacts and that weird hair Ashley Greene really isn't all that attractive. She isn't exactly ugly either but her face is weird. And here I was all excited to see her in a school uniform! Greene is probably one of the few women I know who looks better with her hair up or short, than long and flowing. Lutz however is the opposite, he's easily the coolest male in Twilight but he looks weird in that film. In this film however he is gorgeous and if you're a Lutz fan you'll enjoy the copious shots of his naked sweaty torso.


What I will say is Lutz and Greene actually have some chemistry. It isn't exactly oscar winning chemistry, but they're suitably awkward around one another in that teenagery sort of way that makes it rather convincing. What is kind of strange though is that Greene and the actress playing Lutz's mother in this look very similar... Also considering Lutz and Greene are only really here to look pretty, they seem to take their roles serious enough and put on decent performances, which is nice.


There is also this Indian guy who I assumed worked with Lutz's Dad, he takes Lutz under his wing and those scenes are actually pretty good, the dialogue is well written and amusing, the acting is good and their chemistry works.


The film isn't exactly bad, just sorta...boring. Nothing really happens, Lacrosse is apparently more important than romance so despite Greene's 'romantic' voice over the first 3/4 of the movie are made up entirely of Lacrosse games, so I guess erm, great if you actually like that sport? For anyone coming here to see a Greene Lutz romance movie, you haven't found it, not here anyway. But for what it's worth, the death of the father is surprisingly well executed and although cheesy the movie at least manages to be moving in places. Dare I say it at times I think I was actually enjoying this movie, almost enough to call it good.


So do I recommend this? It's cheesy as hell, the messages it has to tell are just stupid and most of the movie is made up of lacrosse scenes I could honestly care less about. But this film isn't without its moments and I find it very hard to turn down any movie that makes me feel good by the end of it. Honestly if you're a fan of Greene or Lutz you'll probably get a kick out of this, even if it isn't exactly the romance movie you were expecting. If you like lacrosse, you'll love this and if you have an hour and a half to kill, you can do worse than a cheesy sports melodrama feel good movie. Oh also the movies soundtrack is pretty kick ass too.

Think About It!

-Locke


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