Marvel Avengers Assemble.

This is the big one, ladies and gents. I've gone down as a rather firm disliker of this film and one of the only human beings alive who is able to bat off the bullshit and see the film for what it really is. But watching Thor again made me eat my words and I am more than ready to do that with this film too. But if not, then I can finally, once and for all have my reasons to dislike this film down on 'paper' to shut everyone up. Enjoy!

Around a decade of build up, this spring The Avengers were finally on our screens and it would appear that even the slightest thing to like, would have fans screaming that this is the greatest thing of all time. I mean for some of us, we grew up with these movies, spent half our lives waiting for this - there'd be no way in hell it'd be shit...even if it was...we'd just pretend it isn't! The movie itself has been in development since 2005 on the back of a bank loan, with the films production riding on the back of Iron Man's success and picking up stars, directors, writers and other such staff as it went, eventually getting pushed back a year mid 2011. Finally released, it received heaps of critical appraisal, smashed box office records and ended up one of the highest grossing films of all time. And if you somehow missed this multiplex giant, here is me letting you know whether it is worth picking up or not when it's released for home viewing at the end of this month. Let's dig in...

Avengers, despite having pretty much no plot, takes any bits of plot it does have straight from the comics, with little to no explanation of what any of it means to people in the audience watching who don't read comics, which seems odd considering they've made it pretty clear this is its own film universe which is separate from the comics one. I mean I wonder how many people watched this with no grasp of what the hell is going on. But basically it's about Loki, who we know from Thor, who has been given a Putty Patrol to...take over the world or something. At the centre of all this is some doodad called the 'Tesseract', for those who don't read comics, don't expect to every really find out what the Tesseract is because really all it is in this...and really in the comics is just a giant plot device come deus machina. It does what the writer needs it to do, that is all you need to know. Although that is true of basically every bit of tech, magic and stuff in between in the whole movie. Our newest Avenger, Hawkeye, is turned evil within the first five minutes as I slowly died inside, you know they wouldn't have to have this Heart Corruption plot device if they'd let him fucking do something in his last appearance in Thor. Then again it would appear Jeremy Renner is as unhappy with how Hawkeye ended up coming across on screen as I was. After the first ten or so minutes establish our threat, much of the next hour and a half is establishing the Avengers and their power hierarchy (aka the best part of the movie). Once the team are gathered it's now time for plot! And although the film alludes that there is more going on, greater things at play and so on The Avengers is practically plotless and much more like a CGI recreation of a kid and his action figures. In the end feeling like lots of different movies awkwardly stuck together. Explosions! The end. Crowd goes wild.

The Avengers in the movie aren't the original Avengers from the comics. Movie Avengers First Team is made up of Black Widow, who we already know from Iron Man 2 who is pretty much useless throughout the movie but independent woman!. Bruce Banner as played by newcomer to the Marvel Cinematic Universe, Mark Ruffalo, who provides an almost horror movie like aspect to the thing, Captain America, who doesn't do a whole lot and has very little of his story carried on, Iron Man...who is just Iron Man, Hawkeye who is underdeveloped and spends most of the movie as a mindless drone and Thor who has the greatest emotional investment in the thing...despite never being played as such. The Avengers are also assisted by SHIELD agents...who are basically Red Shirts. Samuel L. Jacksons Nick Fury has apparently been taking speech classes from Michael Caine's Alfred. Newcomer Cobie Smulders spends most of the movie getting blown up and shot at and not a lot else as a truly awful Maria Hill.

You are to be forgiven if you think all the actors are putting in bad performances, writer and director Joss Whedon seems to be really going out of his way to make a 'comic book movie' - but comic book dialogue really doesn't work outside of a comic book. That being said, each of the central Avengers is well written and well acted and you'll be struggling to pick a favourite from scene to scene. Highlights definitely include Mark Ruffalo as The Hulk and Chris Evans as Captain America - neither of these really sounds like it should work...but it really does.

The action in Avengers is oddly empty...despite Loki being introduced as a villain of immense power, he goes down in a gag. And although there are battles where the Avengers fight amongst themselves and earlier battles with Loki, these are just basically massive cockteases and over within seconds - despite being the most interesting out of the action sequences. I'd much rather see these fleshed out than the nearly hour long Putty Patrol battle at the end of the movie. What is definitely in its favour is its budget, although the CGI is already starting to show some age, there is no denying that basically every action sequence in the movie plays out like the final battle in a third act of another movie, every action scene is a spectacular, full on set piece and it is glorious. Which you'd hope so from a budget of over two hundred million but it just lacks an emotionally invested, one on one, true comics showdown at the end.

The Avengers isn't particularly well paced but...I'm not complaining. I mean here is the thing, the last hour or so is basically one action scene and for the first hour so, The Avengers barely come in contact with Loki at all despite a little bit of cockteasing. Basically the first hour and a half is completely made up of exposition, this film has a beginning and an end but no real middle...but honestly, the first hour and a half is far more interesting than anything else, even if it is all exposition. By the end of the first hour, your interest will be peaked, midway through the second our you'll be struggling to care any more. The film doesn't need Loki and his unclear motivations, the film doesn't need a bloated action sequence straight out of a Michael Bay movie, the bringing together of The Avengers and then their subsequent squabble for power amongst themselves makes for a far more interesting story, much better set pieces and much more emotional involvement.

Ultimately, that is one of the greatest failings with the film for me. There is no tension. The Avengers are the most powerful weapons on the planet, their only threat is themselves, since the movie went for one villain and an army of goons, there is never any sense that the heroes will lose. I mean we all know they won't regardless, but even aside from the heroes never fail thing, even in the movie itself everything that is thrown at the Avengers barely causes a scratch, to the point where it becomes almost a metaplot point. Coulson claims he needed to die, and he does, not just in the movies narrative to bring the team together, but in the movie externally too, to provide tension and emotion, it's the only moment the Avengers stop steamrolling through everything. That is why The Avengers needed more squabbling and less Putty Patrol. In the end however I can't help but feel his death doesn't really work, the first hour and a half is basically a pulpy, pantomime not all that far away from the 1940's Superhero serials..then Coulson dies and it is like we are in an entirely different movie, like his death was slotted in at the end when Whedon realised reading back that his screenplay was actually pretty boring, although there are a few throwaway lines here and there that The Avengers are loose cannons and so on, there is no real sense that they are inexperienced idiots, throwing their weight around without thinking of the wider picture leading to Coulson's death which brings it all into focus which would have worked, it just feels like, as I said 'Wow this is boring, let's kill a beloved character!' with the last hour meandering around seemingly unsure of what to do with itself, so explosions!

So do I recommend it? It has just as little dramatic tension, story and character development as I remember...so it's just as bad a movie as I remember. However there is no denying how spectacular the action sequences are, it's just final act set piece after final act set piece even if they are a little too Michael Bayesque. So ultimately Avengers is a question of social acceptance, The Avengers is a bad movie...but I think it does about as much as anyone expects a comic book movie to do. No one comes to a comic book adaptation for a cerebral narrative and multifaceted characters, they come for spectacle and excitement - something The Avengers delivers in droves. So no, The Avengers is not a good movie but it still does everything it was ever expected to do. So although I'm not eating my words, Avengers does enough to get a pass.

Think About It!

-Locke