After watching Doom, I really felt an urge to go out and explore the DC Animated Features. Then I realised I'd already watched them all and doing reviews on movies I already have feelings on as to whether they are good or bad is normally hard because I have to seperate myself from them to approach them critically as if I was seeing them for the first time again. Then I realised four of them I didn't remember very well and I actually wouldn't mind seeing them again. So where better to start than the film which is the spiritual prequel of Doom...or rather Doom was the spiritual sequel of this. Crisis on Two Earths! Enjoy. I actually realised when I finished the review, I actually reviewed this once before in the past, I actually said a lot of the same things in that review as I did this one, albiet from a different sort of angle and not in as much depth, hunt that down as well, if you're interested.
First thing you'll think is 'the fuck's with all these character designs? Am I watching a cheap DC ripoff?'. Don't be fooled everyone, this is Earth Two!
Seriously, if you want me to explain the whole Multiverse thing, you can fuck off. It's complicated as fuck, has tonnes of retcons and is just all there on Wikipedia if you even care. The movie itself does a pretty good job of trying to make sense of it all and makes an interesting plot to build around it - and that is basically where the decent writing stops.
Then your reaction will be 'holy fuck this is violent' with blood pouring from The Jester's mouth, who then gets stabbed in the chest with a sword and then martyrs himself to take down some of the enemy, you know this isn't your usual Cartoon Network fare. This is however nowhere near as gory as Doom was towards the end.
then your reaction will be 'holy shit this is ugly'. I mean you thought Doom looked cheap as hell, then you're in for a whole new world of pain with this movie. It's still fast and fluid like Doom was, it just looks hell of a lot cheaper. That being said, much like Doom there is still some great fights and action to be found there are some moments that are damn right epic in their own right.
This hasn't got nearly the star power or familiar voices for the characters and it shows. And maybe it's just because the voices, maybe it's because of where this seems to take place in the Justice League timeline or maybe it is just bad writing but I just felt the characters felt really out of character and not just that, there are some awful exchanges of dialogue, I can't tell if that is bad writing or just bad acting.
I'm confused though, if Earth Two is just Earth One but with everything swapped, why aren't things like gender swapped for example? And why is Lex Luthor still Lex Luthor just good on Earth Two and yet Batman isn't still Batman on Earth Two he is Owlman? GAH! Just trying to make sense of this makes my brain hurt.
Further still it brings up so many questions about how so many of the League's powers are working. Superman only has his powers because of yellow sun radiation. The Flash because of the Speed Force. Hal because of the Emotional Spectrum. Are we supposed to believe that despite all the differences Earth Two has all three of these things? I call bullshit.
Even if we take it on the most basic swap, the Crime Syndicate are Earth Two's JL so they are an evil version, fine. But then why is there a good Justice League too? There is no steady, evil version of it on Earth One, Earth One doesn't have a Crime Syndicate. McDuffie I have so much respect for you, RIP man, but these last two JL movies have been poorly written, bro. There are just too many inconsistencies to make sense of any of it, plotholes that could fit the entire multiverse in.
For all of the problems the whole Earth Two raises, it still also allows the writers to create some really kickass characters. I won't bother to list all of them, but Owlman basically makes this movie and look out for which of your favourite heroes are 'evilified' on Earth Two, it can be really fun to see all the creative things they do with them. But then of course if you know nothing about DC, most of the fun things they do with the characters will be lost on you. The character designs for existing characters are often really nice as well.
In places, this film is downright epic but it annoys me that it always comes down to Batman. It is always all about Batman, I know he is the fan favourite, but most of the time, storywise it just doesn't make any sense. I mean he murders Owlman and Johnny Quick, what the fuck? Since when does Batman do that? Owlman is hell of a lot cooler, I wish he lived!
Crisis on Two Earths is problematic. It leaves me torn. For every cool idea, there is a piece of terrible writing, for all the great action, the art is horrible, for every funny joke or badass oneliner, there is a bit of terrible voice acting.
Doom was definitely an improvement, in basically every way and that says a lot, considering my feelings for that movie.
So do I recommend this? All in all Crisis on Two Earths is only saved from being downright bad because it is pretty fun if you switch off your brain but I'm not sure if even that is a good thing. Further still I see practically no appeal for people who aren't pre-existing DC fans, if you're looking to become one, start with a different movie. And yet at the same time, Owlman is such a cool character he almost makes this worth watching, alone. So I'll let you chew on those final thoughts and make up your own mind whether to see this, with everything considered.
Think About It!
-Locke
Seriously, if you want me to explain the whole Multiverse thing, you can fuck off. It's complicated as fuck, has tonnes of retcons and is just all there on Wikipedia if you even care. The movie itself does a pretty good job of trying to make sense of it all and makes an interesting plot to build around it - and that is basically where the decent writing stops.
then your reaction will be 'holy shit this is ugly'. I mean you thought Doom looked cheap as hell, then you're in for a whole new world of pain with this movie. It's still fast and fluid like Doom was, it just looks hell of a lot cheaper. That being said, much like Doom there is still some great fights and action to be found there are some moments that are damn right epic in their own right.
This hasn't got nearly the star power or familiar voices for the characters and it shows. And maybe it's just because the voices, maybe it's because of where this seems to take place in the Justice League timeline or maybe it is just bad writing but I just felt the characters felt really out of character and not just that, there are some awful exchanges of dialogue, I can't tell if that is bad writing or just bad acting.I'm confused though, if Earth Two is just Earth One but with everything swapped, why aren't things like gender swapped for example? And why is Lex Luthor still Lex Luthor just good on Earth Two and yet Batman isn't still Batman on Earth Two he is Owlman? GAH! Just trying to make sense of this makes my brain hurt.
Further still it brings up so many questions about how so many of the League's powers are working. Superman only has his powers because of yellow sun radiation. The Flash because of the Speed Force. Hal because of the Emotional Spectrum. Are we supposed to believe that despite all the differences Earth Two has all three of these things? I call bullshit.Even if we take it on the most basic swap, the Crime Syndicate are Earth Two's JL so they are an evil version, fine. But then why is there a good Justice League too? There is no steady, evil version of it on Earth One, Earth One doesn't have a Crime Syndicate. McDuffie I have so much respect for you, RIP man, but these last two JL movies have been poorly written, bro. There are just too many inconsistencies to make sense of any of it, plotholes that could fit the entire multiverse in.
For all of the problems the whole Earth Two raises, it still also allows the writers to create some really kickass characters. I won't bother to list all of them, but Owlman basically makes this movie and look out for which of your favourite heroes are 'evilified' on Earth Two, it can be really fun to see all the creative things they do with them. But then of course if you know nothing about DC, most of the fun things they do with the characters will be lost on you. The character designs for existing characters are often really nice as well.In places, this film is downright epic but it annoys me that it always comes down to Batman. It is always all about Batman, I know he is the fan favourite, but most of the time, storywise it just doesn't make any sense. I mean he murders Owlman and Johnny Quick, what the fuck? Since when does Batman do that? Owlman is hell of a lot cooler, I wish he lived!
Crisis on Two Earths is problematic. It leaves me torn. For every cool idea, there is a piece of terrible writing, for all the great action, the art is horrible, for every funny joke or badass oneliner, there is a bit of terrible voice acting. Doom was definitely an improvement, in basically every way and that says a lot, considering my feelings for that movie.
So do I recommend this? All in all Crisis on Two Earths is only saved from being downright bad because it is pretty fun if you switch off your brain but I'm not sure if even that is a good thing. Further still I see practically no appeal for people who aren't pre-existing DC fans, if you're looking to become one, start with a different movie. And yet at the same time, Owlman is such a cool character he almost makes this worth watching, alone. So I'll let you chew on those final thoughts and make up your own mind whether to see this, with everything considered.
Think About It!
-Locke
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