Clash of the Titans.

Where was I supposed to go?! There is great stuff coming to theatres, well I hope they'll be great but they aren't here yet, so why I'm waiting for both those and my laptop to be fixed I decided to pick something that is meant to be bad in the hope of sucking some entertainment out of that. Enjoy!

It was perfectly possible that this film was destined to fail from the start. Your film would have to be fucking beyond reality if you want to make a success out of a remake of a film that is loved by many. And then casting Sam Worthington, the blandest actor in Hollywood, as your lead... yeah you've already fucked it up.

Critics seemed to clash (arf) quite heavily over this film; although overall there were more negative reviews than positive there was a battle between critics who could appreciate a trashy movie on an entertainment level, those who couldn't and those who still had nostalgia for the original movie. For every critic claiming it's dull another would claim it fun in that cheesy sort of way. For every critic that said the script was bad a critic would argue you can appreciate the movie on just how straight the film plays its silliness. For every critic that claied that the action is hard to follow another will claim the film a masterpiece of trash cinema. And so on it carries. But what do I think? Well let's dig into Clash Of The Titans...

Opening with an info dump on Greek Mythology that we already know, it brings us up to date in what basically feels like a trailer for the movie. I guess it at least gets on with it, the first minute or so of exposition could easily be a whole movie. Basically the Gods are arseholes and Perseus must rebel against their tyranny but first he must be trained. I must say I chuckled slightly when 'Argos' declared war against the Gods, sometimes I want to wage war against Argos, they never give me the product in the catalogue. Zeus unleashes Hades on the Earth because the Gods need the humans belief in them to fuel their superpowers... I think. But Hades is not to be trusted, duh. It's a big epic adventure - this is the kind of escapism cinema is all about.

The plot of the film itself is simplistic, by they try and fit every little detail of Greek Myth in along with the immediate plot of the film meaning there is just way too much plot said and way too little shown. In the end the whole film is so fragmented it becomes almost impossible to follow as the characters go from location to location, fighting a new monster at each turn with some vague plot paraded around the near constant action. There is never time for character growth, emotional resonance or even a moment to appreciate what we've just seen. With the way the film jumps around everywhere it feels like huge chunks of the movie are missing.

What all this means is Clash of The Titans is just horribly paced, the script is extremely unfocused. It's got so much story, so many characters that so much ends up happening so quickly it actively slows the film down. I was exhausted after half an hour of the film and the film had barely got out of establishing characters and backstory at that point. It's a short movie that manages to feel painfully long.

What I will say is that even though Clash of the Titans admittedly doesn't have the most polished CGI or the best cinematography the action is still pretty good. It's stylish but also it's exactly the kind of big epic spectacle you'd imagine from a sword and sandals movie like this. Gods, monsters and super powers. This could have been a really cool movie.

It's a shame they movie doesn't give us more time to appreciate the supporting heroes, because it's a bold move they did wiping them all out entirely. Leaving Perseus alone to face the greatest monster of them all, that is an awesome way to set up a finale, just a shame the writing isn't better. And just a shame the Gods are such a cocktease, where is my epic Zeus VS Hades battle? In the end much of the final battle is simply an anticlimax.

So do I recommend it? Clash lets itself down. It's a movie of near nonstop action full of super powers, swords and monsters but you can't enjoy and appreciate any of this with the sheer amount of exposition being hurled at you that clogs down the pacing so extremely, the whole film needs a good edit and a script revision. The film should have a single story focus, not bits and pieces of story from all over the place. I really wanted to enjoy this movie, because we get some great action but the film is just painful. I mean you could  honestly do worse than this but there are much better mindless entertainment movies out there that it leaves little reason for me to recommend this.

Think About It!

-Locke