Robot Jox.

Okay, so I may have...sort of...kinda...given up on Trancers. But I really enjoyed the first and third one. And so I thought, why not take a look at some of Full Moon's other films? And where better to start than Robot Jox? Enjoy!

Okay, technically neither the original Trancers or this film are Full Moon productions. They are actually Empire Pictures productions, Charles Band's distribution company that collapsed due to massive debt a year before Band would go on to form Full Moon. These days a lot of Empire Pictures stuff is owned by MGM. This film was only produced by Charles Band and his father, and was directed by a man named Stuart Gordon - I'm pretty sure most of you would have seen at least one of his other films. Also apparently the MGM DVD I have that says the film is a PG, is actually a much more violent version of the film. With that out of the way, let's dig in!

Robot Jox takes place in an alternative future where a Nuclear Holocaust wiped out most of the people on the planet and the few people left joined up into two super nations. The Market and The Confederation. War is now done with one on one giant robot battles. And despite how incredibly stupid that premise is, it is played almost completely straight and you're never allowed to enjoy it for how silly it all is. Probably the heart of the narrative is a tragedy involving Market hero Achilles killing several hundred spectators and trust me, this scene is shockingly brutal - like up to this point with all the bad acting and shitty effects you are still expecting this to be a laugh and then this scene happens and it's just like 'oh shit' and that is when you realise you are not getting the hilarious giant robot movie you came here for. From there on the movie basically moves into espionage thriller territory for a while before one final robot battle.

Robot Jox tackles and blends the role of women, genetic engineering, a dystopian future, spies and a brutal tragedy all into a film about giant fighting robots. This is never played as a joke or ironically, the film plays it completely seriously and and it doesn't fucking work. I mean you watch the trailers and laugh thinking along the lines of, 'big stupid stop motion robots, I'll watch this film for a laugh!' only what you get is incredibly serious and dark, depressing almost. And then it cuts to another stop motion robot fight and you have absolutely no idea what you are meant to feel, so it just makes you notice how shitty everything looks. By the end the film is so wrapped up in itself, it;s practically cocooned in bullshit. It's just so fucking stupid and manages to drain all the fun out of it. How do you take the fun out of giant fighting robots? Well watch this film, it's a lesson in how to do it. And that pisses me off so much, why do you have to be such a buzzkill, Robot Jox?

Saying it looks like shit is an understatement. And like I said, it isn't even that funny because the film takes itself so seriously. Like even ignoring the Megazordesque robot battles, the sets, the technology, everything looks like shit. I mean I know this is like twenty years old now, but it looks hell of a lot older. It has aged horribly. I don't think I've ever said this before, but this is one film that would really benefit from a remake, modern CGI can't be worse than these effects.

It doesn't help that actionwise it isn't much better. I know there is only so much you can do with stop motion, but it's almost impressive just how clunky and stiff all the robot battles look and how little extra fluidity there is when people fight other people. Just awful.

So do I recommend it? Robot Jox is all kinds of rubbish, but it takes itself so seriously, it makes you feel bad for laughing at it. Z-Grade films need to learn to laugh at themselves, or it isn't entertaining for anyone. Robot Jox doesn't, it gets so wrapped up in its own bullshit that it stops itself from being so bad it's good, so it just ends up being plain bad. Shame, the trailers made it look hilarious.

Think About It!

-Locke