Dead or Alive 4 (DOA4).

I know, still no movie review, I was really tired okay, there's no way I'd have to the energy to watch the movie in detail and make a half decent rant on it with the energy I had, I'll watch it tomorrow or something. So enjoy a game review instead. 

Now I'm going to say at the start that DOA2 is my fave fighter of all time, it was just fantastic in nearly every way. But by no means did it taint how I saw this game because to be perfectly honest, I don't really like this game and would much rather play 2 or 3 (which are far superior in nearly every way). 

The main reason I didn't like this ties into a mentality of mine, one that when I say it will probably incite a lot of rage, but anyway. The biggest crime of a fighter, for me, is a fighter which is inaccessible to newbies. It's the reason I didn't like SFIV that much, I like fighters where you can have a few friends round, a few beers and pick up and play. I don't believe in all this deep fighting mechanics crap and I don't believe in this spending hours in practice mode 'til you can enjoy the game nonsense. Part of the massive appeal of games like MK VS DC or Tekken 6 is anyone could pick up those games, press a few buttons and come across a complete badass. I never understood how that is a bad thing, I never got this mentality that the only good fighters were ones you couldn't play properly until you spent like a week of playing practice mode 8 hours a day. Skilled players can set themselves apart by knowing when to use their combos and noobs can just have a laugh mashing, why is that bad?  So I was highly disappointed to find that to pull off anything in this game required a decent sense of timing and a good amount of practice with the controls, I guess this is a fighter for those 'hardcore' cunts. 

Oh yeah, it also had that so common fighting game pain, Ultimacpu. I decided that's what I'm going to call it, okay? Basically what this phrase means is 'a CPU who can pull of strings of combos, blocks and counters with such speed and proficiency no human could ever play this good' and this is on the easiest settings. In other words, the CPU is hax and unfair and really fucking irritating. Also thanks to those fucking environment damage additions the enemy rains down attacks on you so hard and fast your health is gone before you even realised the match has started. 

Well oh dear, not really great on multiplayer or single player then... well, I still found some things good so I will mention them and let you make your decision. 

The main thing to mention would be how well this game has aged. Maybe since I'm not a 'hardcore' fighting game player and just a 'casual' one I felt no differences in the fighting mechanics of this game and say...SFIV. And if anything, this game is a much more detailed game, the fighting 'arenas' are incredible. Although the graphics may have just started to show their age, they are so far from bad graphics it hurts. I can think of other games that have aged a lot worse.

Yeah about those arenas, holy shit, they have multiple levels, multiple things to smash and multiple ways to hurt your enemies whether it's riding them down a flight of stairs or sending them into the path of a running big cat, you can rely on more than just  your combos. And as frustrating as it can be when your enemy keeps bouncing you off the wall and finding the wall doubles their attack damage, the first time you send them into the path of a dinosaur will probably be something long remembered. 

And of course, the girls, bouncing boobs, revealing costumes, suggestive poses, there is heaps of great fanservice, if you like that kind of thing of course. 

So should you play it? If you're a casual fighting game player who just likes to play his fucking game, then no, this game will just frustrate. But if you're one of those fags that loves spending tedious hours in practice mode trying to make that 30 button combo feel natural to his fingers you'll feel right at home with this title. 

Oh yeah, Bayonetta by the way is fucking incredible, fuck this game and go buy that!


Think About It!


-Locke.