Ghost Rider.

I know this is an old film, one that isn't even particularly relevant. It was universally panned although it somehow still got a sequel that was to the critics at least worse than the original. But it's also an adaptation of a superhero I really like. So let's give Ghost Rider a chance! 

I realised something the other day. I am a film nerd and no matter what anyone tells you you can't be a film nerd without a certain amount of film snobbery. That being said, I can't stand art cinema and a lot of world cinema bores me to pieces but stuff like GI Joe and other such blockbuster schlock I can really appreciate. I know they are shit films but I can appreciate them on the merit of simply being fun. Ironically most of my friends, the average joe cinemagoers, can't appreciate a bad but fun film like say GI Joe on simply being fun, they just see it as a shit film period and refuse to appreciate it in any sense and in many senses I guess that makes them snobbier than me. So I thought I'd give Ghost Rider a chance, to be fun at least.

Ghost Rider is about the Ghost Rider, a person chosen from each generation to seal the devils contracts. One of those Ghost Rider's happens to be Johnny Blaze, former stunt bike driver. He becomes the Ghost Rider by selling his soul to save his chain smoking Dad from cancer and gets into some battle with demons and stuff. Despite Ghost Rider being all about hell and demons and so on most people wander around in 'human form' with only small glimpses to their 'true forms'. And the film regularly takes a massive shit on the franchise it is based on.

Although there are some horror elements for the most part the movie is just goofy and I have no idea why they made it so goofy, sure the Ghost Rider comics can be silly and a little corny but the film seems to almost be taking the piss out of the franchise it was based on, turning Johnny Blaze into what appears to be some kind of retard, reducing Blackheart to a whiny emo kid played by an at the time raging drug addict and just wrapping every serious, dark scene in a general goofy tone. In some places it became so goofy that I actually started to laugh, not that the film is funny, I was laughing at it and in slight disbelief that a film can be this shit. I just don't get it, Cage is a huge Ghost Rider fan, hell he has a Ghost Rider tattoo on his arm, so why'd he agree to be in such a bastardisation of his one of his favourite franchises? It isn't just an awful adaptation, it's just plain awful in general, I don't think I've ever seen a film with so many plotholes before.

Loving the antismokers message guys, not all smokers spend all their times wheezing up their lungs and then puffing up straight after. A horrible representation. Although with an awful script and also awful acting all round a shitty smoking stereotype is the least of your worries. And no one is worse than Nic Cage, God I hate this guy... he sucks so fucking much. And hey, at least Eva Mendes shows off a copious amount of cleavage even if Mendes and Cage have zero chemistry. Sam Elliott does do a rather good job as a reimagined Carter Slade, Phantom Rider, Caretaker amalgamation though, he is probably the only genuinely good actor in the whole thing. 

Ghost Rider is easily one of the cheapest looking films I have ever seen, the whole film plays out like a feature length episode of Supernatural, especially in visual effects but much in story too, reading the Ghost Rider comics it would appear Supernatural actually took a lot of plotpoints from Ghost Rider and in return the film seemed to take the shows look. Somehow though the action in this film looks much, much cheaper than Supernatural ever does and the sets look so much shittier. It says a lot when you look shittier than a TV show barely anyone watches. With shitty voice modifications, awkward editing and terrible CGI, there is just no excuse for a Hollywood Blockbuster to look this cheap. And my God, this has possibly the most laughable final battle in a movie ever.

I'm guessing I saw the extended cut because this film was over two hours long, a long time in itself but this film was so insanely boring the two hours felt like it stretched into two years. No real sense of tension, no real sense of build up, no character development despite lots of scenes of characters I don't give a fuck about taking up most of the screen time telling awful jokes and when the action finally fucking starts due to either terrible writing or budget limitations the action is over a moment later to make way for another slog of Cage's terrible fucking acting. It honestly took me over three sittings to get through this film, I was honestly so bored in places I had to go do something else. I'm not sure I've ever done that in a film before, not multiple breaks at least. Honestly if I wasn't reviewing this film, I'd have given up on it.

So do I recommend this? We all know Ghost Rider is a shit film but is it still fun? For a film that seems to be self aware that it is simply meant to be trashy fun, it still spends way to much time on characters and drama and not enough time on explosions, making the film seem awfully conflicted in what it wants to be and ultimately letting itself down because of it. Ghost Rider is as bad as anyone has told you but I don't think people have stressed enough just how fucking boring this film is. Just stick with the Supernatural TV show and the Ghost Rider comics. 

Think About It!

-Locke