The Vow.

Wow a brand new movie? I thought you didn't review movies you saw in theatres? I just wanna say... thank you Russia and also go see Cabin in the Woods, it's amazing. Anyway, the Vow enjoy!


I never watched The Notebook, I heard it was a great film but a terrible adaptation of an even better book so I decided to just read the book instead. Then along comes this film, which is basically a cheap knock off of the Notebook but instead of Ryan Gosling, we have Channing Tatum... oh God this is gonna be so good, isn't it? Oh God, based on a true story? Fuck, get out while you still can! And I dunno, in some ways the fact that all the critics have just stamped average Hollywood product all over this is probably worse than just flatout panning it. I'm going to hate the next two hours of my life, aren't I? I guess I'll just watch it for McAdams, she's a babe.

So the story goes that Leo (Tatum) and Paige (McAdams) decide to stop in the middle of the road to have sex...for some reason and a truck I guess, slides on the snow? So it can't slow down and crashes into the back of their stupidly placed car. This then sets off one of the most hilariously awful looking slow motion carcrash sequences ever. Rushed into hospital Leo wakes up, Paige is left in a coma. She should have kissed him with her seatbelt on! When Paige wakes up she finds that she has forgotten she was married to Leo - which is unsurprising being that he is so bland amongst other things and it becomes Leo's job to make her remember! What a load of clichéd shit.

The Vow is cheesy to cringeworthy levels as Tatum gives these '2DEEP4U' monologues and the acting is just awful. Tatum is just so insanely bland it's hard not to imagine under all that muscle is a Terminator. That'd probably make for a far more interesting movie. Tatum and McAdams have no chemistry at all, every scene just feels awkward and not in that natural, cute sort of way either.

I don't think it's all down to the performers that this movie is bad though, Paige as a character is a total bitch after she has her carcrash and there is only so much McAdams can do with that. And Leo appears to be written with Edward Cullen in mind, so there is only so much Tatum can do with that. I mean they certainly could have done more with what they had but I don't want to blame them entirely for the films failure. Thankfully the supporting cast is strong and act much better than the main two and add some much needed charm into the movie.

To be fair, as the film progressed I found myself more and more feeling sorry for Leo rather than Paige because somehow it seems a harder punishment for Leo... because he remembers, he knows the truth but until Paige does he has to just sit and be frustrated and attempt to get the love back. And because of this I found myself slowly warming to him, he could be quite charming. Plus I guess it helps Paige is written as a cunt and he is written as a Disney Prince. And plus when a film is so emotionally charged it's hard not to get invested in them a little, I did find after sitting through this for an hour I did actually start to care a little.

Admittedly the film is well made, clearly a high quality product. With such tight editing, the film becomes fast and loud making it hard not to get swept up into the film. It's well shot too, some scenes actually look quite nice. Just a shame they didn't have a better film to accompany the great editing and cinematography.

So do I recommend this? Much like most of the critics have said, The Vow isn't a bad film despite some bad performances from the main cast and some bad writing. I mean there is a good movie in here somewhere it becomes quite obvious especially after the first hour mark but it's just lost, like Paige, and unlike her, I just don't think it ever finds itself.

Think About It!

-Locke