The Cabin In The Woods.

Back to 2012 movies we go, let us take a look at a movie that I saw in cinemas and really enjoyed, seeing if it holds up under my close reviewing scrutiny, enjoy!

So, Cabin In The Woods is all a bit...serious on us, first is the fact that this film was set to be released in 2010 right before MGM went bust and then managed to finally find a release earlier this year after Lionsgate bought the rights in the middle of last year. The film itself is the directorial début of the guy who wrote Cloverfield...take from that what you will, with help from the man of the moment Joss Whedon - little do people know Whedon has been the man of the 'moment' for a lot longer than The Avengers for us nerds. This film was basically made as a middle finger to what the horror genre has become, namely the 'torture porn' genre that has taken over the genre. Oooo, get you.

And it was met with a huge amount of praise from critics. I mean there is honestly no reason for me to even paraphrase the reviews, just look at any one and you'll find the same things, 'Cabin in The Woods is an incredible meta-look at the horror genre, playfully utilising horror clichés for great effect', if you don't find something along those lines, then you must be reading the Bible instead. Hell it's been compared to Evil Dead II for Christ's sake, let's take a look at this thing!


Chris Hemsworth plays Curt who takes the role of the athlete with a slightly anti-climactic but still pretty awesome death. Connolly plays Dana who takes the role of the virgin, the one who doesn't have to die. Anna Hutchinson plays Jules and takes the role of the whore, she dies first, punished for corrupted youth. Fran Kranz plays Marty and takes the role of the stoner/fool and is probably the most useful of the protagonists and Jesse Williams plays Holden, who is the black one...I mean 'the scholar' and surprisingly dies third. The point here is, although they are eventually manipulated to take their horror roles, each of them breaks horror conventions. By all accounts, Curt is no douche and is actually quite clever, not just some dumb jock. Dana isn't actually a virgin, modern times, man. Jules isn't actually a slut. Marty isn't actually an idiot. Although Holden is black...

With The Avengers assembled (I had to make that joke once) they head to the title of the movie (that one too). Thus begins the most generic of horror clichés, a group of teens getting high and drunk in the middle of nowhere. Their party is quickly interrupted however as the cellar door opens, finding the cellar is full of loads of creepy shit - they assume the shit is from the previous owners of the cabin, but you'll learn it is something very different... All the while, the stoner seems the most grounded out of the bunch, PLOTPOINT as he slowly notices that his friends are becoming less and less like his friends. The film then becomes a pretty generic zombie film for a while, but don't fret, there are many twists still on the way, we may only have an hour of this thing left, but the movie hasn't even started yet. The true plot of the film is that every teen, or well anyone who is a main character in a horror movie fighting monsters, is actually a sacrifice, their death keeps 'The Ancients' happy, and asleep and keeps peace on Earth. Ironically anyone who ever survives in a horror film is ultimately a bad guy and is putting the whole world in danger. The movie doesn't really truly shift until the last twenty or so minutes, when the remnants of the group, Dana and Marty, start to unravel what exactly is going on and unleash all manners of hell.

Long story short, this is a movie about movies, the more you've seen, the more you'll enjoy this. This is basically a meta-film with the implication that every horror film ever, has spawned out of this film - or rather the organisation out of this film. And I mean, every, not just American, but any horror film from any place in the world, as they manipulate everything from creating a dumb blonde stereotype, to making all the teens horny, to the location itself, they are even provided monsters, magic and gods - every horror cliché, they engineer it. The cabin and the protagonists are the horror genre and those who work at the organisation are the film studios. Get it? Richard and Steve are the two main characters working at the organisation, the way they are dressed, their nonchalant attitude to what they are creating or the fact they make sure to do it by the numbers, is all a poke at the studios pumping out all the horror crap we get these days.

The pacing in this movie in the film itself is perfect...but at the same time it isn't, let me try to explain. Cabin has a full deck of cards, and thanks to this, it means it can do an exciting reveal and twist every few minutes keeping the film exciting and fast paced consistently throughout, making it an extremely enjoyable watch. But at the same time, it has so many cards, it never had any chance to reveal all of them in one film and I can't help but feel some of the cards that were either never included, or landed on the cutting room floor, could have been really great additions to the movie and it is a shame we may never see them.

What also really shows, in just the quality of this film, is how funny it is. In itself I struggle to laugh out loud, or even giggle at most comedies...it is just really difficult to make me laugh for some reason but not only was this making me laugh out loud, it was making me laugh out loud despite this film being pretty disturbing in its own right. I mean writing can only take that so far, but the actors take it all the way. It really does balance the comedy and the disturbing perfectly and never belittles either. Even Richard and Steve, the men in ties who manipulate the whole thing and provide must of the comic relief, know when to tone it down. The movie knows when to be serious and the movie knows when to be hilarious. It is just so brilliantly written and acted, I love this film.

There is also some surprisingly good action, too. With great special effects, and lots of gore, whenever our teens come against monsters, it's always going to be insane fun. Although, unsurprisingly when they switch from practical to CGI, it looks a billion times shittier, but I'll be a little less harsh because MGM was a failing studio and they were working on this from 2009 - and we all know how quickly CGI ages. But seriously, in the last half an hour when the army of nightmares is unleashed...it is just amazing, to see so many different monsters on screen at once, going on some huge rampage, just awesome.

One thing I would say is a little confusing is how any other monsters will work in the same context. The cabin seems entirely built around the Buckner's, if they were say facing a merman how would things like the Black Room fit in with the merman's story? You'd think the cabin would be more general so you can easily fit everything to any story. But oh well, nitpicks.

Until a sequel is announced, the one thing I will dislike about this film is that everything falls apart. We learn very little about the Organisation that is behind everything, and the whole system comes crumbling down before the film is over. Although the film itself is satisfying, much how I feel about many Sci-Fi films, it is the system I am interested in, more than anything else. So I can't help but feel slightly saddened that the whole thing is destroyed and there are no plans to visit it again any time soon, that is a shame, because I have a lot of questions, and there are a lot of interesting things they could have still shown. I understand MGM was failing and they were probably concentrating on getting this one out - one thing at a time and all that, but this could make for a great franchise, the possibilities for sequels, prequels or altquels are practically endless. Make it happen, Lionsgate and Whedon!

Plus, I suppose you could argue, that with a film that spends much of it giving a middle finger to horror movies, it still doesn't work that well as a horror movie itself. I mean it has some great monsters, lots of gore and action, but the movie is never particularly scary. So I guess that opens a whole can of worms as to what exactly a horror movie is, if it is even about the fear and so on. But it's something to keep in mind, it is a great film, no doubt, but it could be a better horror one for all the shit it talks about the genre. Just saying, keeping it balanced and all that.

So do I recommend it? In the end, Cabin in The Woods might be too good. Like many of the sci-fi films I watch, although the film may leave me satisfied, it introduces so many fascinating concepts, it's hard not to be disappointed when you realise this might be the only time you're going to visit this universe but that only further supports just how great this movie is. Sure, for all the shit it talks about horror movies, it might not work that well itself as a horror movie but this is just entertainment to the max. Watch it. Now. Thank me later.

Think About It!

-Locke