Beauty and the Beast S01E01 - Pilot.

Why am I watching or even reviewing this? Find out, after the jump! (Also if you're wondering why this and not Arrow or Supernatural, they are on the way and will be out within the next few days! - if you're think that is too long or too late, I ain't getting paid to do this, so I'm doing it in my own time, bitches [but seriously I love you guys, that is why I write these reviews])

The main reason is that the whole thing sounded hilariously stupid. I don't know if any of you remember or were even alive at the time, but in 1987 there was a Beauty and the Beast TV show with Ron fucking Perlman. Whether you liked it or not is irrelevant, the original series was a romantic drama which attempted to modernise the fairytale and add a little meat to it (and lots of really fucking stupid ideas) skip twenty five years into the future and someone suggested, "hey remember that cult Beauty and the Beast TV show? No? Well that doesn't really matter, I just wanted to propose we update the Beauty and the Beast fairytale as a cop procedural show - that show was just my inspiration." And it is airing right now, someone actually thought that was a good idea, someone paid money to have this created - I just have to see this. This is going to be amazing. I became even more convinced by the idea after critics slammed it, it's been claimed it lacks charm, it is badly written, The Beast isn't much of a beast, it is badly acted, has a heavy handed girl power theme and is just all round a terrible show, shitting on both the original TV series and the fairytale all this is based on. I mean really, how can a cop procedural Beauty and the Beast show ever be bad? We have to see this! (Also CW, I'm promoting three of your shows on my blog...just sayin'... [call me!])

The Beauty and The Beast Pilot tells the story of Catherine Chandler, a police detective whose mother was killed nine years earlier. She claims she was saved by a 'beast' but has been convinced since that she was just trippin' from her head wound. Also, apparently balancing your love life and being a cop, is really hard or something. Anyway, the main drive of the episode is Chandler and her partner Tess Vargas searching for the dead man Vincent Keller. As it turns out Keller is very much alive and he was a former soldier who lost his brothers during 9/11. While in the military he basically ends up in the Trancer Programme and has been trying to create an antidote ever since. It would also appear Chandler and Vargas' current case may have some connection to the night Chandler's mother was murdered as a whole conspiracy thing begins to form around Chandler. Something big is going down.

They clearly went to the Supernatural school of design for Beast, he is less Beast and more...a slightly veiny guy with a heavy facial structure. I mean hey, the Trancer thing was just a joke, but Keller transformed looks a lot like a Stage Ten Trancer. I would say hey in the days of Twilight full on monster men wouldn't cut it, but then I remembered Jake turns into a gigantic dog, so I really have absolutely no idea why they went for such a muted Beast, it can't be money either, the 1987 Beast was well...like the Beast from the Disney Film and I would highly doubt this 2012 reincarnation would have a lower budget or worse tech on hand. Then again, it's probably for the best, because the CGI in this show is fucking awful.

All jokes aside, Beauty and the Beast is surprisingly tightly written, sure there are ticked boxes, contrivances and heaps of plot convenience but everything fits together pretty nicely and it gives the show some considerable sense of pace and flow. Often cases of the week can feel rushed, especially when trying to mix in other elements, but I felt the Pilot used its time well with just enough mystery and conspiracy thrown in to keep you coming back. I will say though on the other hand, the Pilot is somewhat over written, some of the plot used to get the Beauty and the Beast together is so elaborate it practically counts as a tangent and ultimately becomes filler. That is also a worry I have for the rest of the series, you remember Awake and that shows struggle to be a cop show while exploring a mystery? I mean this show really isn't about well...cases. It's about the Beast and the conspiracy around it, they're either going to have to find ways to connect every case every week to the wider mystery or literally just pad every episode with a pointless case, either doesn't feel like it'll particularly work.

Keeping with all jokes aside, the show has some surprisingly good action. The brutal attacks from the Beast are cleverly shot and edited to have a horror feel. I mean I know it's probably done that like that to lower costs, but at least they did something with it to create something new. Although yes, it is a little Twilighty. And when Chandler is attacked mid-way through, the combination of good editing, good cinematography and some slow motion made for a surprisingly visceral and stylish action set-piece.

One of the biggest problems with the pilot is lead actress Kristin Kreuk, she is so beautiful she seems to stand out and not really fit in her surroundings, but that really isn't a criticism, I know. The real criticism is her acting, I never felt convinced by her character, I'm not saying beautiful women can't be police detectives, I'm just saying Kreuk can't. She never convinced me once, I just felt like she was reading lines off of a script and reacting as the stage directions command, which is exactly what she is meant to be doing, but she is also supposed to be hiding the fact. Couldn't she have at least done a little research and like relax into the role of a detective? She never seemed to understand or believe any word she was saying. And when your central character and lead actress can't act...everything starts to crumble around her. It probably doesn't help that our Beauty and our Beast have practically no chemistry. Watching her beat the shit out of men twice her size was pretty awesome though.

So do I recommend it? It's funny a show called 'Beauty and the Beast' could feel so anything but, luckily I have no real attachment to either the 1987 show or the original fairytale, so this didn't really bother me. But considering the terrible premise and the slamming from critics, it isn't that bad. I mean this certainly has all the elements of a 'cool to hate' show, but fans of Twilight (or that kind of genre) will probably find something to enjoy here. The pilot is well paced and has some surprisingly good action, it's just a shame the lead actress is so bad. And I am slightly worried where exactly the show will go from here but yes, my expectations were low, but I think Beauty and the Beast ended up surprising me, so well done, show!

Think About It!

-Locke