Ted.

Well it's 2013, I better catch up on some of those 2012 movies I missed, enjoy!

On similar lines to 21 Jump Street, Ted was a film introduced to me as 'the funniest film of 2012'. As one of the few people on the internet that isn't in the hipster crowd of hating on Seth MacFarlane...for being alive, I gave the trailer a watch and it had to be one of the unfunniest two minutes I have ever watched. However positive praise from friends and family continued to pour out around me and now I have no excuses to not give this a watch, so let's try it....

Just in case you live under a rock, Ted was MacFarlane's feature length début. And it did well both financially and critically, just missing out of the top ten of most grossing of 2012. And there is already plans for a sequel. And well, did I like it?

First, the plot. Honestly minus the crude talking bear, Ted is a movie you've seen a thousand times. There is a nice guy, a man child and an irritated girlfriend. You know, Shaun of The Dead only with less zombies and more T. The film is a little goofy, but its heart is in the right place, which really helps you get swept up in the highs and the lows. It all turns out to be very beautiful, powerful stuff.

Heart is ultimately what saves the film. It really has an almost a classic, Spielberg kind of feel to it and surprising, hidden depth. It deals with issues like innocence and the ultimate loss of, maturity, childhood and really how one should balance out their lives, even the most minor characters get a charming moment of introspection. It's a coming of age drama, even though our protagonist is thirty five years old. And as a guy of twenty ones years of age, balancing on the precipice of 'the rest of my life' and what exactly the hell I'm going to do with it, Ted spoke to me in many different ways. I was really impressed that Ted is so much more than a novelty about a rude bear.

The great thing about something like a moving teddy bear is that it doesn't have to look photo realistic in the same way a person would, so Ted actually looks and moves pretty convincingly for a CGI creation, which is probably helped by the fact he was motion captured by MacFarlane himself. And thanks to some solid special effects, it really makes you forget about him as a CGI teddy and really see him as a character.

All this being said, Ted still has some major problems. The actors try their hardest but despite a strong third act, Ted has a weak script overall and amateurish direction. Most people don't really realise how much an actors performance really relies on the person directing them, just look at performances from DiCaprio and De Niro underneath Scorsese, then look at them under other directors, you really see the difference. And I know this is MacFarlane's first feature length film so I have to cut him some slack but he really doesn't get the language of film. Unlike some other directors I have featured on this blog, I really can't see MacFarlane having a future in cinema, I think he belongs on TV. I mean the cast all have great chemistry. I really feel all the love between John, Lori and Ted, which is no small feat considering Ted is a CGI bear, but it is everything behind the scenes that lets these people down, which is a shame honestly.

Really the biggest problem with Ted is it isn't funny. I mean sure, there are some funny moments, it'll probably squeeze a smirk out of you now and again but the funniest the film gets is when Wahlberg punches a fat kid in the face and I think that really says a lot. This came from the same people who wrote Family Guy and although they manage to find that same balance of lowbrow humour and hidden intelligence, the humour just isn't funny. Ted is like a long episode of Family Guy and by long, I mean stretched to the point where it begins to tear like the title character. It just seemed to so often miss the comedy mark, it's almost astounding that so many funny writers can come together to make such an unfunny movie. I pretty much know that this is because MacFarlane isn't used to directing feature length films, so he hasn't really got the timing or pace to really make jokes work in a space of time that you could do five episodes of Family Guy in. Really, pacing is something Ted doesn't have. It's close to two hours long and the whole thing just drags, I mean there is a plot, John has to grow up and get the girl but the film just plods along stringing random scene after random scene together with a vague semblance of continuity. It tries really hard to have the same energy an episode of Family Guy has, and loses steam just about as quickly as one of those episodes last.

So do I recommend it? Ted comes from Think About It! recommended but with a hint of sadness, knowing deep down that this film misses out on being the fantastic film it had the potential to be.

Think About It!

-Locke