The End of Time. (spoilers which should have been obvious anyway)

(Since there is no boxshot here's Wilf in some stupid fucking antlers)

Okay okay, I know I said 'No TV reviews' but I watched both specials in one go, pretty much getting a very low budget (for a movie) movie with Doctor Who. So yes, my first review of 2010 is a TV show review but reviewed in the same way I would do with any movie review, as to not contradict myself (and make up some retarded rule to act like my 'plothole' never happened, much like Russell T Davis does constantly in these specials). So onwards to my very first TV... I mean just another movie review!

So unless you live under a rock you should know that this special marks the end for David Tennant's loved role as The Doctor. The return of the lovely John Simm as the Master and as you may have guessed from the adverts the whole Timelord Race and the whole planet Gallifrey. If you hadn't, HAH BITCH! YOU JUST GOT SPOILED!

And well...it was a mess.

The Master's regeneration goes wrong and he conveniently gets trapped as John Simm (not like many are complaining, mind) he then goes even more insane, grows a cannibalistic appetite and the ability to turn his life force into energy beams and he can fly (looks like Russell just watched through the first two seasons of Heroes back to back and absentmindedly wrote this as he watched).

There are about a million different four knocks (if you don't know what the four knocks are, go watch the two seasons and few specials Tennant was in and work it out yourself) across the specials and David Tennant seems to die and then be okay just about as many times and by the time the regeneration does come around it still takes so fucking long you find yourself saying, "Hurry up already!" and I liked David Tennant! I thought Christopher Ecclestone was better, but you know if I say that I may have to set up a flame shield.

Then the whole something is coming or returning or whatever line applies to about a million other things as the Doctor Who universe is retconned, then thrown at you like machine gun bullets to the point you wonder if some desperate fanboy was given five pound to write the episodes while Russell T Davis sat in the next room surfing for topless pictures of John Barrowman.

It of course had copious amounts of plotholes, much to be expected from an episode of Doctor Who, what made it worse was that Russell or the fanboy-fill-in then spent ages writing these stupid excuses to somehow step around the plotholes from the whole series and gave each plothole some funky and totally stupid 'sorta sci-fi' sounding name. How old are you, five?

But typical of the series, the laughs are big, the excitement is epic and for a TV production the effects and scale of the show are truly epic (unlike Heroes which always builds up to a lot of light flashes, off screen action and fight scenes that last about as long as my expectation did that Heroes would ever actually achieve anything). Oh and there is a lot of running. Even though in many ways this was a very different episode of Doctor Who to the norm, it had the conventions of the modern winning Doctor Who formula so I think even with all this new shit fans wont be disappointed, just irritated even it does appear to be written by a really fucking dumb fanboy who probably hangs around on the same forum as you and is probably called something like 'XxXTheDoctor'sLoverXxX69' and has a badly photoshoped avatar of their face on the Doctor's body.

So should you watch it? Well you probably already have if you wanted to watch it. I only got to watch it in one go thanks to the God known as 'Sky Plus'. I guess if you haven't and this review has somehow made you want to watch it (did you read the review?) then I guess you can waste your money when this is probably released on four DVD's each costing £30.

Oh yeah, between this and the music review I had also watched the 1972 original of 'Last House On The Left' but it was so fucking shit I was too angered to write anything on it without getting angina. And and yeah I used the pretty much the same two image's over and over but I never said I was good at searching for images and I never said I was patient either but hey, the last image looks like Donna has constipation. What more could you want?

Happy New Year!

-Locke