If you're easily butthurt, I really don't recommend reading on past the jump. Once again, same rules apply, there may have been worse films this year but these are the worst of what I actually got to see. Enjoy!
10. The Avengers. It really annoys me that so many people put this at the top of their list of best films of 2012, sure it was fun, but best film of 2012? Bullshit. You can call me pathetic or say it isn't about that or whatever but a huge part of my dislike of this film is everyone's reaction to it. You talk to a lot of people and they think the film is the greatest thing ever made and if you suggest that maybe their nerd goggles are clouding their vision, you get the internet equivalent of a kick in the testicles. I'm a firm believer in appreciating a film because it's fun but I never once confuse those films for being any good, let alone confuse them for cinematic masterpieces. Dark Knight Rises suffered the same sense of overhype, but that at least had merits for being a good film in its own right hence not making it onto my list but Avengers just doesn't. Whedon knows nothing about the language of film, the story is bare bones, the characters are paper thin and there is barely any dramatic tension at all. Don't believe the hype.
9. Rampart. It's well made and Woody Harrelson puts on a great performance but it's so fucking boring.
8. Martha Marcy May Marlene. It's awfully paced and very boring but it does come together in a very twisted way, meaning there is at least one person out there who will come out of the other side of this film satisfied and entertained. Everyone else however, just stay away.
7. People Like Us. Well I don't, that is why I hated this film. It's no small feat to make a film where you hate everyone in it but People Like Us managed it. Honestly the film isn't even that bad, it's just populated by such rotten characters and basterdises much better films that it takes a massive shit on any potential it may have once had.
6. Werewolf The Beast Among Us. Could have been great, turned out to be shit.
5. The Tall Man. What a convoluted mess.
4. Haywire. What do you get when you cross awful pacing with a cheap feeling production? One of the worst films of 2012, that's what.
3. LOL. Who the hell was this made for? Either way, it was awful.Watch all the films this rips off instead.
2. The Hunger Games. I almost didn't want to put this on my list for sentimental reasons and feel bad even now for putting this so high on the list. It's hard enough to find ways to bond with your sibling when they are both of a different gender and are five years younger, without only seeing one another a couple of times a year but Jennifer Lawrence aside, the Hunger Games did something pretty incredible, it made a bad book somehow worse. The Hunger Games is nowhere near well written but the film adaptation went so wild on what it cut out, the story fell into pure incoherence. Luckily both me and my Sister had read the books so we knew what was going on but I really can't see how someone who hasn't already read the book could follow this rushed, mess of a film that manages to miss the point of a book that barely had one. Expect a review of this mess soon.
1. Cosmopolis. I hate this film, utter hipster garbage. It looks like shit, it's boring as fuck and so pretentious it'd make a tweed jacket blush. Hell I'd say it was incoherent if it was even about anything, fuck. By far the biggest piece of shit in 2012.
Think About It!
-Locke
2 comments:
The Hunger Games was pretty underwhelming considering the hype and the fanbase, and I must be the only person on the planet that still hasn't seen The Avengers.
I'm honestly surprised that a dedicated fanbase like the one the Hunger Games has wasn't more angry that the film adaptation basterdised the source material so much.
Also if you thought the Dark Knight Rises was overrated, Avengers is here to say, 'you ain't seen nothing yet'.
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